Words & Music: Jake Thackray

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When I first fell in love I thought
My whole existence would now be fraught
With ecstasy,
Blessed content.
It would be different.

I got ready to climb up the balc-
ony of my beloved with after-shaving lotion and a dab of talc
Behind my ear,
Couple o' pints of beer,
Clean underpants.
This was romance!

And she was waiting for me there,
With some egg on her chin.
I dreamed she'd have a rose in her hair,
And she'd be softly plucking at a mandolin.
To tell you the truth, there wasn't a rose
And as a matter of fact, she was plucking her nose.

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